According to myself and feministhistorian
Have an orgasm
I’m assuming there’s more context here, because as hard and fast rules these two statements make me hella uncomfortable.
I get a lot of flack from even sex-positive people for not using both HBC and condoms (I use condoms only, with all partners, all the time, for various reasons). I also experience side effects from my anti-depressants which sometimes make it very hard for me to orgasm. Obviously, I still consider myself a feminist and I still consider the sex I have with my feminist-allied partner to be feminist sex.
As an alternative to these rules, what about:
1. Use appropriate STI protection and contraceptives for the level of STI/pregnancy risk that your and your partner(s) deem acceptable.
2. Enjoy yourself, and act in good faith towards the goal of your partner(s) enjoying themself or themselves.
3. Practice good consent.
^^ all of this commentary. As a sex positive feminist, I am positive that your safe, consensual sex life is your business and your business alone. Mind your own ‘gasms.
The Rules of Feminist Sex
We are trained to hate fat. By rights, even I should hate fat. I should hate looking at my fat legs, I should be ashamed of my fat arms, I should be wearing a tent-like apparatus to conceal my fat stomach, I should grow my nails long to elongate my fat fingers. But that’s bullshit. I live once. I am blessed with one body, and one mind and I’ve worked hard to reconcile the two. I’m 21. I wear what I want. I seek romance with people I find attractive. I got over my heel-dragging and nerves and took an internship at a women’s glossy fashion magazine where I look like no-one on the staff, because I want to be a journalist and I want to be fearless. I stand up for myself. I stand up for others. I write my blog to help other people understand that you have a choice, that you only live once, that regret and resentment and denial are a life wasted. I have trained myself not to assume that the fat on my body means I am worth less, deserve less, that I appeal to no-one, that I shouldn’t wear what I want, that no one will want to date me or sleep with me or be my friend, that it will always be me who gets rejected, that as a fat girl, I can’t be fussy about who I’m kissing. As a wonderful man said to me over dinner in Montréal one night, ‘For some people it’s a deal-breaker; for others, it sweetens the deal’.
— Bethany, at the Arched Eyebrow fatshion blog
She’s awesome and has fierce as fuck eyebrows.
(Source: archedeyebrow, via nynakin-deactivated20120301)